


her limbo, and his

by dontrush



Series: a quadrille for june [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, June Egbert Real, Post canon, Trans Female Character, Transmasc Roxy (closeted), frank discussions about mental health, june is a dumbass but she’s our dumbass, minor misgendering, pre epilogues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24671785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontrush/pseuds/dontrush
Summary: June is eager to come out to Roxy, but after a few mistaken assumptions, Roxy ends up taking them somewhere very familiar: nowhere.In which June Egbert, like many before her, gets her transfem Roxy head-canon deconfirmed by the epilogues.
Relationships: June Egbert & Roxy Lalonde
Series: a quadrille for june [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718023
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	her limbo, and his

The Lalonde residence is a humble little duplex tucked away in the densely packed suburbs of the Carapacian Kingdom. It is a nice afternoon for December, and a few little chess guys going about their day wave excitedly as you land. While folks in this neighborhood are accustomed to seeing a certain Creator out and about, sightings of _you_ have become quite rare in recent years. You are easy to spot now, sporting your god tier clothes, which your friends have all given up as gauche over the years. But if passersby are going to see you as John, you’d rather give them John the Symbol than John the person. You smile to hope that they soon won’t see you as either.

It was Dave’s idea to tell Rose next. She’d be supportive, and even though you missed her birthday party (and Dave’s, and Jade’s) a few days ago, she’d be glad to help you out. Even without special seer powers, a woman like Rose would be the perfect friend to help you figure out the next steps in your journey. She and Kanaya could even get you jumpstarted on an exciting new wardrobe. 

It was an excellent plan. The old you might have followed it.

The new you nods awkwardly to the waving carapacians as you instead stroll up the path to Roxy’s house. Telling Dave was unplanned and stressful. You could use a nice, simple palette cleanser before what will surely be a long bout of introspection with the other Lalonde. You can feel that Roxy’s gonna be really excited about this, and your heart definitely isn’t racing when you ring the doorbell. You tell yourself it’ll be fine during the endless wait for the door to open.

JUNE: h-hey roxy!   
ROXY: sup john!

If the sweatpants and t-shirt are anything to go off of, she wasn’t expecting company, though it’d be rich for you to call the kettle black on this front. You were no stranger to 24/7 jammies during your self-imposed house arrest. As far as Roxy goes though, you’ve likely caught her on a lazy afternoon, and not the midst of a quarter-life crisis, like the one you just emerged from.

ROXY: its been a long ass time bb   
ROXY: bring it in   


With a smile, she extends her arms for a hug, and you oblige. It’s warm. She breaks it off first and invites you inside. The interior is as cozy as you’d expect from Roxy: it’s lived-in and a tad messy, but it has yet to sink to the depths of slob your house has. You really ought to clean up one of these days.

The two of you pause. Roxy is just standing there, with an expression so unreadable it would make Dave jealous.

JUNE: so, um.   
JUNE: glad to be here!   
ROXY: glad to have u! been so long since ive had guests over   
JUNE: that’s weird. i thought callie was over here all the time.   
ROXY: lmao she aint a guest dummy she lives here!   
JUNE: really??   
ROXY: yeah she moved in from next door like...a LONG ass time ago   
ROXY: whole duplex thing was kinda dumb with us bein at each others pads pretty much on the daily  


This shouldn’t be all that surprising, but you are having a hard time getting a grasp on it. The way Roxy’s talking you have no idea if she and Calliope are dating, or roommates, or the Dave/Karkat kind of roommates.

ROXY: ur really outta the loop arent u   
JUNE: heh yeah. guilty as charged!   
JUNE: haha.   
ROXY: anyway, shes out pickin up art stuffs atm but she’ll be back later   
JUNE: perfect!   
ROXY: ?   
JUNE: i mean uh, i wanted to have a one on one with you first if that’s okay.   
ROXY: ohhhhhh   
ROXY: id love that john!   
ROXY: kick ur feet up and let me in on whats up in the egbertverse  


The two of you take a seat on Roxy’s small couch as you prepare yourself to come out to her. Really, there’s not much you need to do to prepare. You’ve always felt comfortable in Roxy’s presence, and today is no exception.

***

Unfortunately, because of the people involved, and what this means to them, I cannot describe the exact words that you and Roxy exchange in this moment. I can’t even vaguely summarize them in a tight paragraph of narration. Every mode of conveying this information has been completely locked.

This won’t bother you, of course, given that you are experiencing that moment right now. You will remember it fondly, if a tad bittersweetly given the embarrassing thing you’re about to do, but I fear our kind audience may feel shortchanged. They chose and are choosing to read a story about coming out, and I’m explicitly excluding that narrative moment in favor of a meta-stricken tone swerve of an aside.

Our audience may recall, if they’ve been reading these tales in sequence (and for that matter, if they’ve been uploaded in sequence), that I had no such trouble regaling your heartfelt self-expression when it was directed at Karkat, or Dave. And I won’t have that trouble in the future, when you tell Rose and Terezi and all your other friends. Our audience may rightly think this whole diatribe smacks of an author who got stuck and is trying to meta her way out of writer’s block.

I’m sympathetic, I really am. But I can’t help it. The truth is, I simply do not know what you are telling the Rogue of Void right now. This memory, this idea, this story, it _means_ something to him, something important. So he stole it from me. Consciously or not, he used his communion with the void to completely seal this pocket of narrative away from any potential voyeurs, blocking me and the audience out. All that joy and affirmation, the hugs and tears, the love and understanding, it all belongs solely to him, and to you, June. Enjoy it. 

Whew, it’s a good thing you’re distracted by your own gender ramblings right now. Some of those pronouns were spoilers. My apologies to Roxy, but I have to switch back to she/her now to avoid outing him to June before he’s ready. I hope he understands.

As the veil of obscurity lifts, you and Roxy are laughing on the couch. She apparently brought out some various snacks to munch on, and a couple of glasses of water rest on the coffee table. You are blowing on a hot cup of tea when Roxy puts hers down.

ROXY: so june....   
ROXY: mind if i hit u with a few   
ROXY: question-y type words   
JUNE: sure go ahead!   
ROXY: dont wanna be 2 invasive or anything   
ROXY: so please stop me if ur gettin uncomfy   
JUNE: don’t worry about it!   
JUNE: i have a feeling you will only ask the questions that are fun and good.   
ROXY: damn right   
ROXY: just call me the fun conductor on the good train   
ROXY: haulin whimsical ass interrogatives to chill as fuck station   
JUNE: :B   
ROXY: omfg   
ROXY: how have i never noticed u and janey got the same smile!   
ROXY: the family resemblance is CHOICE june ur so heckin CUTE   


True to her word, Roxy only asks the questions that are fun and good. Things like other names you considered, if you want to borrow some of her old clothes some time, how you decided who to tell first. At one point she confuses you by asking about the eggiest things you’ve done. She seems to know a lot more trans lingo than you. You laugh over the incredibly eggy things you said and did during your three years aboard a prospitian battleship. In the happy moment of silence that follows, she asks her final question. The smile leaves her face before it leaves yours.

ROXY: so   
ROXY: have u   
ROXY: uh   
ROXY: have you thought about hormones?  


She isn’t frowning per se, but that lack of smile is troubling.

JUNE: um...  


Hormones have been on your mind far longer than you’ve known you were trans, ever since your sister first alchemized some for herself in that 3 year drift between sessions. There are a lot of avenues for expressing yourself in your transition and that option has always appealed to you, even when it was just a daring dream. Of course, being you, you haven’t given much of a thought until now to the actual logistics of obtaining them.

JUNE: they sound nice!   
JUNE: i’m pretty eager to start them.   
ROXY: cool   
ROXY: not to sound too ominous or w/e   
ROXY: but if you EVER have any trouble gettin em   
ROXY: just hmu   
JUNE: oh, uh. what do you mean by trouble?   
ROXY: you might run into some....resistance is all   
JUNE: what makes you say that?   
ROXY: le signnnn   


Roxy turns abruptly and looks through you, as if your corneas were a teleprompter with the exact words she wants to say written on them. She stares you down, sorting things out in her mind before she closes her eyes just as abruptly and takes a short, deep breath.

ROXY: this one time   
ROXY: i tried to get   
ROXY: um   
ROXY: a tattoo   
JUNE: :0 really? that’s so cool!   
JUNE: what kind?   
ROXY: ummmmmm   
ROXY: dont matter all that much   
ROXY: somethin classy like a void symbol idk   
JUNE: sweet!   
JUNE: you’ve kinda never struck me as the tattoo type, though?   
JUNE: seems more like a dirk thing.   
ROXY: heh, yeah, more than u realize   
ROXY: anyway the tattoo guy also thought i wasnt the type   
ROXY: dude was like   
ROXY: HELLS of deferential but straight up refused to do it?   
JUNE: haha that’s weird. why not?   
ROXY: he said it was...   
ROXY: heretical  


The breeze briefly lifts you out of your seat as you hear the most insane thing you’ve ever heard.

JUNE: what? the hell????   
ROXY: its like   
ROXY: to them our bodies are these sacred objects that shouldnt be modified   
ROXY: cuz were gods n all   
JUNE: wow.   
JUNE: that’s pretty fucked up, actually!   
ROXY: yeah   
ROXY: it is  


A beat passes as you both sit quietly, your eyes on Roxy and hers on the blank TV opposite the couch. She speaks up without turning to look at you.

ROXY: listen june   
ROXY: you may have only presented masc for twentysomethin years   
ROXY: but to the people out there youve been your deadname for five fuckin millenniums   
ROXY: our stories have been around so long they dont realize we are still writin em   
ROXY: it sucks  


She’s staring at the ceiling now, head back on the couch, spaced out. At this point she seems more like she’s talking to herself than to you, which strikes you as odd. She must have been _really_ invested in getting that tattoo.

JUNE: you think something similar would happen if i wanted to modify my body with hormones?   
ROXY: maybe   
ROXY: ugh this has come off as way more of a bummer than i wanted lol   
ROXY: id just hate for you to get hurt   
JUNE: ...thanks roxy. i am glad i have friends looking out for me.  


She perks up and flashes a sly grin.

ROXY: conspiracies aside if the process is scary just lmk if u wanna   
ROXY: cut the line ;p   
JUNE: i’m uh. i’m not following.   
ROXY: fuck it   
ROXY: aint much point in lettin them disappoint you like that   
ROXY: watch this  


In sharp contrast to the ludicrous way she had been sprawled across the couch, Roxy brings herself upright, her back a steel beam as she crosses her legs beneath her. You especially notice the way her breath becomes smooth and controlled: a marksman taking aim with a finger on the trigger. She brings her hands close together, swirling them around in a way that looks silly, like she’s doing fake magic for a kid’s birthday. Nevertheless, in a photonegative flash of what your wind-filled brain can only process as non-light, a small orange bottle materializes in Roxy’s hand.

JUNE: is that?   
ROXY: yep!   
JUNE: whoaaaaaa!  


She offers you the bottle, and you take it with two hands, very slowly cradling this newborn child. It is written out to “June Egbert,” with the prescribing physician listed as “cuz i said so ;)” in her trademark pink. It’s almost too good to be true: no doctors, no waiting rooms, no questions asked, just a godfriend with void powers and a kind heart.

JUNE: oh my god roxy, thank you SO much!   
ROXY: ur welcome ;)   
JUNE: you’ve gotten really good at that voidy thing!   
JUNE: i figured you’d need a couple tries at least for something this complex.   
ROXY: nah its p easy stuff   
JUNE: no really! i thought you had to like...   
JUNE: blitz your chakras just right or something.   
ROXY: lmao   
ROXY: it aint that simple   
JUNE: oh.   
ROXY: but it aint that hard either   
ROXY: i just gotta really GET the concept   
ROXY: or like   
ROXY: an adjacent one   
ROXY: like casin the void joint before a big rougey heist goes tf down   
ROXY: and u got a big plan to gank some fuckin baby blue sapphire   
ROXY: but you notice its right next to a pink ruby or whatever the fuck so now you know how to steal that too   
ROXY: u feel me?   
JUNE: yeah, i think i’m starting to get it!  


You smile at each other, in a few serene seconds of mutual misunderstanding. In that calm, you grab onto a hope you first felt when you were only a teen. It’s a hope that stuck with you, and though you’ve never dared to confirm it, it has only grown as this conversation has gone on. A hope that Roxy might be just like you, even though you only figured out what ‘like you’ meant in the past few weeks. You hold on to that hope for one tick too many, and it instantly crystalizes into belief, and soon, into action.

Roxy Lalonde is a trans woman! How else would she be so easy to talk to about this? How else could she know so much about HRT that she can conjure it out of thin air? And how else could you be so sure that she really, truly sympathizes with what you are going through? You’re sure of it now, you poor thing. But it would be rude to just come right out and ask. It’s better to just imply it very loudly in her general direction. That’ll work. Then you can finally have that transfem buddy you’ve been so desperate for.

JUNE: i don’t know if i mentioned it already, but i was actually really excited about telling you!   
JUNE: as in, you SPECIFICALLY.   
ROXY: :O   
ROXY: really?   
JUNE: yeah!!!!!   
JUNE: you’ve always been kind of...an inspiration to me?   
ROXY: omg june STOP im BLUSHIN <3   
ROXY: whatever u think i did i promise it wasnt all that impressive   
JUNE: no i’m serious!   
JUNE: i have always been just a little bit jealous of your confidence.   
JUNE: the way you...present yourself? if that makes sense?   
ROXY: i guess so?   
ROXY: im not all that special im just   
ROXY: roxy   
JUNE: you’re special to me!   
ROXY: awwwwwww <3  


She gives you a quick hug, and that positive reinforcement only makes you double down on your course of action. She breaks off the hug as soon as you open your mouth again, foot at the ready.

JUNE: where do i even start? your hair, your clothes, your voice...   
JUNE: you’ve got this whole fun and feminine and flirty vibe that i hope i can have some day!   
ROXY: ha   
ROXY: no uh   
ROXY: no foolin huh  


Her voice fades by half, and she sits back down, now hunching over a tad. You’re far too excited to notice.

JUNE: remember all those years ago when terezi was teasing us about being dorks together?   
JUNE: even i started to think i had a crush on you!   
JUNE: but recently i heard about this thing called “life goals or wife goals” that totally put those feelings in a new context.   
JUNE: i think i just always wanted to be like you.   
JUNE: a cute and cool and confident GIRL!   
ROXY: HA! HAHA!  


You are starting to get the feeling that you maybe might have said slightly the incorrect thing to say at some point, though it’s hard to be sure. You’ve never seen Roxy like this.

JUNE: roxy?   
JUNE: are you okay?   
ROXY: haha u know roxy!   
ROXY: just rofling my girly ao @ all these dope compliments   
ROXY: they r just so FUN and GOOD   
ROXY: WOO!!!!  


She’s dropped down to lay on her side, head on the sofa’s armrest, arms holding each other. She keeps saying she’s alright, but you recognize those breathing patterns, and they aren’t good. Having no clue how to handle this scenario, but still wanting to help, you reach out and touch her shoulder.

JUNE: what’s wrong, roxy?  


***

When it happens, you don’t notice the brief flash of darkness, or the subtle conceptual shift of the ground beneath you. Instead, you feel the way the air pressure outside cuts off completely: something or someone, just now, hit the mute button on the entire atmosphere. It’s an eerie, unnatural calm, all eye with no storm. The Breeze, always so loud in your head, drops to a whisper. For the first time in nearly a decade, you are severed from the flow of all things.

You look at Roxy. She’s sitting on the couch still, pulling her knees to her chest and staring at the ground.

JUNE: did you feel that?  


Her eyes dart to yours, as a brief flicker of panic appears on her face, melting into concern as her silence drags on.

ROXY: you-   
ROXY: you can see me?  


She tilts her head to the side, bewildered and dazed.

JUNE: uh, yeah?   
ROXY: and its...really you?   
JUNE: obviously!   
JUNE: enough about that, roxy, i think something really bad happened outside!   
ROXY: no no no   
ROXY: its fine   
JUNE: we better go check it out.   
ROXY: june everythings fine  


You stand to head out but before you can even take a step, you are stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

ROXY: NO!  


You stop, and turn to look at her. One of her hands is balled into a fist. She pulls her hand other hand back from your shoulder, and stares at her feet. Without the Breeze to fill in the gaps, the silence is deafening.

ROXY: i mean   
ROXY: *sigh*   
ROXY: wait  


She looks up at you, and offers you her hand.

ROXY: i promise itll all make sense if you just lemme show you  


There’s no hesitation: you reach out and take her hand. 

She starts to hover, and you follow suit as she floats up the stairs, and down the hall, dragging you to her room. She appears to open the door and she leads you in. Empty cans and bottles litter every surface, and a pile of unsorted, rumpled clothes takes up most of the floor. Unlike the relatively well-kept living room, this place is a mess. It’s almost like a pink version of your own bedroom. 

Roxy lets go of your hand and shimmies her way through the open window facing the street. She steps out onto the roof, signaling for you to follow. You peek your head through, and quickly realize it wasn’t her room that she wanted to show you.

You don’t feel the brisk December air. You don’t feel the warmth of the sun. Even the raw, inky potential permeating the emptiest spaces in the furthest ring is gone. You feel nothing, true nothing, weigh down on you. With one look at the blank, blank sky stretching out above, you know exactly where you are.

JUNE: this place, it’s...   
ROXY: yep   
ROXY: canonical limbo, nothingspace, the blank ass yonder   
ROXY: whatever you wanna call it...  


She cracks a smile. It’s forced.

ROXY: welcome back june  


You look out, out to where the horizon would be if there were a land and a sky to meet. It’s all blank. You haven’t been back here since you retcon zapped LOWAS here all those years ago, with Roxy by your side. Back then, with a full planet beneath you, the emptiness was dulled. It was the same planet you were used to, the sky just looked funny. Now, it’s overwhelming. Looking down, you can see where the pathway you took to reach her front door simply stops, not in a chasm but in endless void. Tilting your head up from there just so, the blank backdrop takes up your entire field of view.

JUNE: but how?   
JUNE: i thought my retcon powers were the only way to get here.   
ROXY: not to take u down a peg or anything   
ROXY: but this is more my place than yours   
ROXY: on account of all the   
ROXY: u know   
ROXY: *points aggressively at all this fuckin void*   
JUNE: so...   
JUNE: you did some kind of voidy thing to bring us here?   
ROXY: ummm kinda?   
ROXY: :\   
JUNE: i mean it’s neat you’ve tapped into your powers more!   
JUNE: lord knows i’ve been slacking in that department.   
JUNE: but...   
JUNE: i kinda don’t get......   
JUNE: why?  


Roxy takes in a deep breath before letting out the fattest *SIGNNNNN* you have ever heard. She takes a seat on the windowsill, dangling her feet over the edge, and pats the open spot next to her.

ROXY: aight this is gonna suck cuz i havent rly told anybody   
ROXY: but we gotta pass the time somehow   
ROXY: make urself comfy girl cuz its bout to b story time in this bitch   
ROXY: or like   
ROXY: in this lack of bitch   
JUNE: ...yeah. alright.  


You take the seat next to her. It’s a bit cramped, but neither of you seem to mind. She stretches one arm after the other, then cracks her neck from side to side before she tells you. You have no idea what you expect, but it definitely isn’t what she says.

ROXY: this is where i go   
ROXY: when i want to disappear  


***

It’s an involuntary response, she clarifies, and at first she thought she was merely turning invisible. It came without warning, sporadically, for minutes or hours at a time. Even so, she savored it. Roxy had always been drawn to the allure of being unseen, and it was nice to finally have a good excuse. But then she started to notice the edges. The sky gradually turning translucent, then blank. Objects she moved while invisible would be snapped back to their original positions when she reappeared. Soon she realized they weren’t really objects at all.

She was not traversing Earth-C invisibly, but wandering its void-formed double, alone. She was transporting herself here, bringing along a shadow of the world she left behind. The void would house this conceptual copy, trapping Roxy inside. With each passing episode, that copy’s radius shrank lower and lower, first to her kingdom, then her neighborhood. Now, as you can tell, all she gets is her home. 

During this story, the two of you made your way up to the top of the building, and rest now on what you suppose you have to call the roof. To hear Roxy explain it, it isn’t really a roof, just a platonic shell that does the things a roof should do without actually being one, or “being” at all. The two of you are lying down on a concept, you on your side, facing her, and she on her back, looking up. You lasted for about 10 seconds of that before the dread of being consumed by nothingness became too much to bear. By the time her story ends, you haven’t even seen her blink.

JUNE: wow, that’s.   
JUNE: that’s so incredibly hard to even hear about secondhand.   
JUNE: how are you, like, handling it? i feel like i would’ve fallen apart by now, going through this.   
ROXY: eh   
ROXY: me and the void are tight   
ROXY: tbh i kinda......LIKED it at first?   
JUNE: really?   
ROXY: the idea that i could go anywhere without people lookin at me   
ROXY: i could just BE   
ROXY: without bein seen   
ROXY: it was kinda nice   
JUNE: i guess i could see the appeal.   
JUNE: that’s part of why i’ve been cooped up in my house.   
ROXY: after a while tho   
ROXY: it got lonely   
ROXY: this is the first time ive had somebody here with me   
ROXY: even if callie was around she wouldnt come with   
ROXY: id be stuck here with her shadowhusk doppelfucker or whatever   
ROXY: i started stayin in the empty half of the duplex when i was here   
ROXY: just so i wouldnt run into her  


You shudder to imagine what a platonic husk of a person would be like. Someone that does all the things that person would do, without actually being them. You wonder if it feels anything like what you used to do, going through all the motions of being “John” without ever truly feeling like him. If you didn’t come with her somehow, you wonder what Roxy’s platonic June would have done in your place. Now that you are free of being John, do you have to start doing the things a June is supposed to do?

Roxy, still staring up at the lack of sky, doesn’t seem to have much more to say.

JUNE: so now what?   
JUNE: do we just wait or is there something we need to do?   
ROXY: waitin is the only thing thats worked so far   
ROXY: ive tried but i just cant quite control the jumps   
JUNE: oh believe me, i’ve been there.   
JUNE: it gets better!  


You smile, somewhat fondly recalling your random zaps throughout canon. But Roxy isn’t smiling.

ROXY: what if it doesnt?   
ROXY: every time ive come here i could feel a layer of myself get pulled away as the world around me shrank and shrank   
ROXY: just sheddin mask after mask like the ultimate scooby doo villain   
ROXY: strippin my persona down to its bare essentials  


At the mention of the world around you shrinking, you hazard a look back down at the void. It’s spreading. The path leading to the front door has shriveled up entirely. As Roxy continues, the void creeps away up the sides of the house, taking the porch before engulfing the entire first floor.

ROXY: what if I keep peelin away layers and theres nothin underneath   
ROXY: what if I just   
ROXY: disappear completely  


She still hasn’t blinked. The bubble has shrunk down to you, Roxy, and the slowly shrinking concept of a roof beneath you. When she goes quiet, the encroaching void slows and stabilizes to about a ten foot radius disc of thoughtroof.

You have to help, but have no clue what to say. It isn’t pleasant, but you try to remember what it was like when you reached your lowest point. What was it like when you reached this depth of desperation, and what would you have wanted?

You were alone in your house, just a few weeks prior. Something was swelling inside you, and you could just barely hold it back, knowing if you didn’t hold your breath and lie perfectly still, you would become a typhoon. It leaked out at the edges in fits and bursts: a mirror shattered by a sudden gale, a hurricane tearing through the clothes in your closet. Honestly, the scene before you is likely what it looked like from the outside when you were on the verge of a breakdown. You don’t know what Roxy is going through right now, but you know what you would’ve wanted then. A friend.

JUNE: wanna hear my theory?   
JUNE: i think that sometimes, our aspects start to miss us.   


You plop yourself down on your back, struggling to look directly into the void in the hopes it could give you some perspective on what Roxy might be feeling.

JUNE: we’ve all gotten so complacent after the game ended, or at least i did.   
JUNE: like, i know i made it sound like a lot of fun earlier, but...   
JUNE: realizing i was trans was ROUGH.   
JUNE: before the big breakthrough, there were times when my body started evaporating into wind all on its own.   
JUNE: i came so close to just...   
JUNE: dissolving.   
JUNE: at the time i thought i was losing control, but i think the breeze was trying to reach me, in the only way it knew how.   
JUNE: hell, maybe it was disobeying me because i was refusing to be myself!   
ROXY: lol   
ROXY: ur sayin the void keeps bringin me here   
ROXY: because it wants me to get my shit together?   
JUNE: maybe! i don’t know.   
ROXY: heh  


You sit up and look her over. You’ve started to coax a little grin out of her, but she still hasn’t blinked. She does, however, start to sit up, breaking her sustained eye contact with the void as she turns to face you. You look away at first, still a bit shy after recounting your weakest moment.

She looks directly into your eyes.

ROXY: so what does the void want me to do?   
ROXY: and why would it bring YOU here?  


***

Eyes are reflective things. Every time you’ve seen them, there’s been a light source somewhere, and the eyes reflected a little bit of light your way, giving them that gleam that brings poets to thoughts of the soul. But you are in the void now. And you don’t see anything behind Roxy’s eyes. All they can reflect is the void, leaving the whites of her eyes matte and lifeless. 

It haunts you.

Then you look closer. She isn’t looking at the void right now, though it takes up much of the background. She’s looking at _you_. You see it now: your own reflection in her irises, a distorted image of yourself wreathed in pink. You don’t know if it’s the pink or the distortion or what, but for just a moment, you see something you’ve never recognized in any mirror before. You see a woman, you, a woman, reflected in the pink of Roxy’s eyes.

You wonder what she must see in the blues of your own.

JUNE: wow.   
JUNE: uh, i mean, listen.   
JUNE: what i’ve been trying to tell you is that.....   
JUNE: i was all alone when i was at my lowest point.   
JUNE: and i don’t want it to be that way for you.   
ROXY: ...   
JUNE: bring it in, you.  


You open your arms up, offering Roxy a hug. She stares at you still, her face a stone, her eyes flat. Just when you’ve started to consider bringing your arms back to your sides, she blinks. And then, she smiles, stepping into a much bigger, tighter hug than the one she used to welcome you earlier. You lean into it, so glad to see her finally snap out of that trance she was in, but she’s too powerful, and ends up pushing you onto your back.

Her eyes are tearing up, and your faces are so close now you can only see yourself reflected in them. She closes her eyes, presses her forehead against yours, and for a moment, you can feel her heartbeat. All is calm and peaceful. Then, her voice a whisper, she speaks. She doesn’t spit out a thank you or an I love you or anything sentimental like that. She tells you something deep, and raw, and cathartic, and which makes you feel like an idiot in the best way possible. She tells you something that brings you closer together than you had ever thought you could be. She tells you—

He tells you—

Darn. I’m afraid this part of the story is not mine to tell. I find myself once again unable to express the profound moment you share, two souls lost among their emptiness between worlds, meeting each other again, and yet, for the first time. It’s no doubt a beautiful, touching scene, but it seems our Rogue is yet again taking that scene all for himself. 

There will be no narrators. There will be no audience. There will be only you and Roxy, hand in hand, together. He made sure of that.

Good. I’m proud of him.

**Author's Note:**

> The Dave story should logically have been next but I really wanted to get something out for 6/12, and the ideas flowed more freely on this one. Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
